I'm really bummed

[rosebud314]

My daughter, Lisa (she's my baby), informed my dh and I last night that she's planning on moving back to PA. She's starting to look for a job and looking into transferring to the Art Institute of York. I've been http://www.everythingsewing.net/phpBB-2.0.8a/phpBB2/images/smilies/icon_cry.gif http://www.everythingsewing.net/phpBB-2.0.8a/phpBB2/images/smilies/icon_cry.gif http://www.everythingsewing.net/phpBB-2.0.8a/phpBB2/images/smilies/icon_cry.gif all night. I know that we work hard to raise them so that they are ready to move out and be on their own, but, darn it, she'll be 1000 miles away. That wasn't in my plans.

[artsiegirl]

I worked in a high school guidance office for several years, and we had an amazingly wise counselor that mentored me. Every time we had one of "those" parents leave (the ones who believe their baby would never do anything wrong!) she would call me in to her office and say, "Sherri, your job as a mother to your children is to help them become independent of you." I never fully understood what she meant when my boys were very young, but boy do I get it now. I feel for you...however, I sure am envious of her going to the Art Institute!

[StitchinGrandma]

Oh Roseanne I feel for you. BIG HUGS! My baby moved to Florida from where we live in Illinois a few years ago with a girl who, at the time was his fiancee. We all KNEW it was a mistake for him to move and for him to marry her too because she was very visibly using him. Love is blind though so he didn't see that. Thankfully she dumped him so that part was fixed but he's now stuck down there and can't find a job.

Why did I mention that? Because you can overcome this. It is NEVER easy knowing your kids are moving that far away BUT, if this is something that is good for them and they are happy too then you can take comfort in that. She may thrive at that school and it could be the best thing for her in the end and if you have always shown her how much you love her and have helped her whenever she needed a shoulder to lean and/or cry on then you've done your job and she will come back to see her Momma. There's nothing like a Momma's love and our kids know that so even though this is REALLY hard, I know you can get through it. Yes, there will be a lot of tears and anyone telling you there won't be is kidding. I still can feel the pain when my son gave me a hug just before he left our driveway to leave for Florida. It hurts and there are still tears when I think about that day. :(

Try to remember your job as a Mom is to teach them right from wrong and to love them no matter what. My rulebook was missing that page on what to do when they tell you they are moving across the country so I can't tell you what you should do, only that you won't die ~ it will just feel that way. LOL

[Sew 'N Sane]

I constantly find this forum to be a blessing in my life and others. :knuddel: Everyone is so nice and helpful and willing to give advice or a shoulder to lean.

Although I don't have a child moving 1000 miles away, my oldest will graduate from high school in June and then will be going to college about 300 miles away.

It's such a comfort to know that when I reach that point and I'm feeling low, that I can turn to this wonderful group for love and support. :love:

:marchmellow:

[ShirleyC]

I know your heart is heavy, but maybe you can go visit and help her get set up in an apartment, and get involved in lots of decorating projects to help pass the time.

[windwillow]

Roseanne, I feel for you, it was so hard to let the first one, and then second, and then third and fourth go too! My youngest moved away about eight years ago, We all have the same cell service so I talk to my children all the time. This past weekend was my first time in three years to see my youngest, now I am going back through the empty nest syndrome again. I call the two children that I didn't get to see and all the kids had a fourway call for over two hours, then I got to talk for about ten minutes before everyones batteries went dead.. Just to hear their voice is a joy and we email all the time... It does get easier now (I don't cry and sob when we part). The time together is precious so enjoy it and make the best of it. As Dolly Lama would say "Put your big girl panties on and deal with it!" Dry your face, put on some makeup and show your daughter you support her choice and will always be a big part of her life. Now start planning for the future...
Rose...I'm not being insensitive, just try to pull you out of your bummed feeling...smile
Windwillow

[rosebud314]

Thank you all soooooo very much for your words of encouragement. I agree with everything you're telling me. She knows I'm upset about it, but she also knows that when the time comes, even though it will be hard to watch her go, she will have my blessing. She's only 21, but has had enough life lessons in the past couple of years that she has matured quite a bit. I guess my biggest problem is that I never expected her to be that far away from me. She's such a home body. I am feeling better today about it. I'm not liking it any better, but I am dealing with it all a little better. It does help that their is family up there and that she won't be totally on her own. Her best friend, just recently turned boyfriend, is there also. I think that plays a major roll in her decision.

My oldest daughter still lives here in the area, but the relationship between her and her dad is very strained. Those of you that were on SF last year about this time will remember the ordeal we went through with her. She's married and has a life of her own, she is welcome here, but her husband is not. Makes it really tough on holidays. I still see her and talk to her several times a week. BTW, I'd appreciate your prayers for her, as she's been unemployed since October. They've had to put their house up for sale, before the bank forecloses on it. They need to sell rather quickly, and the market here in FL is horrible.

[Carlene]

Yes that news must of been a jolt!

But on the good side! I see great family vacations in your future!

[slg]

sorry to hear that. I hope that you will be able to travel to see her and cherish those moments that you are ablet o spend together.