Prayer Request [Archive] - Embroidables

Granny313

03-27-2009, 08:20 PM

I don't know if any of you have noticed that I haven't been around so much in the last couple of weeks. My only sister is very sick. She was in the hospital for 9 days. She went to her doctor about 2 weeks ago, because she would be walking and her legs would give out on her and she would fall. She has also been losing weight pretty fast. She had a heart attack when she was 42 years old and they did angioplasy and she was fine. About 10 years later, she had another one and had to put in 3 stents. She retired from the bank about 1-1/2 years ago because she just did not feel good. Then she started hurting in her back on the right side and was passing blood in her urine. One doctor was treating her for a small kidney stone but she has been going downhill for about 6 months. She began giving out of breath when she even walked to the mailbox, was tired all the time and she continued to treat herself for the kidney stone. She started turning jaundiced. They admitted her to the hospital 9 days ago and she has had every test and scan and MRI availabale. Plus a biopsy on her liver, and also a small camera inserted. She has liver cancer, tumors in both lungs, a cluster of tumors in her chest, a tumor in the left side of her brain, a tumor next to her trachea and tumors in her lymph nodes. In other words - she is eaten up with cancer. No treatment can be done. She came home 3 days ago with Hospice. She was at least talking and aware of things towards the end of the hospital stay and now she is not lucid very often at all, has not eaten but about 4 teaspoons of food in 10 days. She eats crushed ice. She slurs and whispers when she does try to talk and cannot do anything for herself. I am her only sister and I have been sitting with her in the afternoons while her husband does errands, etc. His mother is also in their home with lung disease and is on oxygen. Both our parents are deceased so it is just he and I taking care of her. She has one son and he works crazy shifts and cannot help out but a couple of afternoons a week. They say she has 1-2 months left, but I don't see how. It breaks my heart because she has always babied and taken care of me when we were growing up, and she is in alot of pain and when they give her morphine she is definitely out. I do not want to see her suffer but this is really hard and taking a toll on me also. Pray that God will comfort her. And please keep her husband and son in your prayers also. She is my older sister and one day soon I will be alone.

Thanks girls,
Debbie

Sew So Happy

03-27-2009, 09:11 PM

Oh, Debbie, bless your heart! I will pray for her to be comfortable and for you to have some peace with all this. I know this has got to be hard for you. I also pray for her husband and son. May God be with all of you during this time.

artsiegirl

03-28-2009, 03:18 AM

I'm so very sorry Debbie. It's so hard to watch someone who has comforted you now having to deal with pain and suffering. I pray you are able to find peace and rest throughout this time and that your sister has comfort.

StitchinGrandma

03-28-2009, 05:37 AM

OH Debbie I'm so sorry about your sister. All you just typed reminded me of my mother as I watched her wither away from cancer while I was pregnant with her first grandchild. I KNOW how hard it is for you to watch her like this. Sadly, what you have said makes me agree with you that 1-2 months sounds very optimistic. I'll be thinking of you and your family. It's really hard but, try very hard to focus on the sister you remember from your younger years and all the wonderful times you've had together.

I'll be praying for you to have all the strength you need and for your entire family.

Jennifer

03-28-2009, 06:58 AM

I am soo sorry you having to go thru this. You and your family will be my prayers and thoughts. I know how hard it is, I lost a brother the same way. If you need a place to vent and just to talk please feel free to let us know.
Jen

debmac

03-28-2009, 10:25 AM

Debbie,

I am so sorry. I know the next few weeks will be very hard on you both emotionally and physically, so remember that everyone here will have you in our thoughts and prayers. If you need anything just let me know. God bless you.

Debbie

NJMo

03-28-2009, 04:29 PM

Of course, our thoughts and prayers are with you. If you feel like it, or just need a place to "unload," please feel free to do so here. Good luck and give your sister a kiss on the cheek from her baby sister's online friends.

Nancy

Pedal Pusher

03-29-2009, 05:39 AM

Debbie......just remember God will not put more on us than we can bear. What doesn't kill us will make us stronger.....

Unfortunately we have all watched this killer desease take someone we love and care about. Do what you can and don't feel you should be doing more. Remember to take care of yourself so you can be there for your sister.

Your family here will be here if you need us.

Donna

fun2sew

03-29-2009, 12:21 PM

Debbie,

We will be praying for your Family!

Hugs

Dawn

ShirleyC

03-29-2009, 03:43 PM

I know this disease has touched us all in some way, including me. My prayers are with you and your family.

Shirley C.

Juli

03-29-2009, 07:21 PM

Oh I'm so sorry to read this! I will pray for peace and strength for your family and your sister through this difficult time.

Jami Johnson

03-30-2009, 12:44 PM

Debbie,

We are so sorry to hear about your sister. I can’t imagine having to go through that. You and your sister will be in our thoughts and our prayers.

With lots of love,

Jami and David

kidzbizz

03-30-2009, 01:18 PM

Debbie, thoughts and prayers for your sister, her family and to you.

Judie

NJMo

03-30-2009, 08:15 PM

How are YOU doing? It can be exhausting, both physically, mentally and spiritually.

Nancy

Thread artist

03-30-2009, 11:02 PM

Debbie,

The power of prayer is the greatest power one could ever experience. I pray that your sister lives her last days pain free. I pray that her husband and son are engulfed in God's love, and I pray that you will be strong in the days to come, because they will need you.

The poem that got me through my daughter's death was "Footsteps In the Sand". Your descrption of what your sister is going through, took me back to her last days. There are no words that can comfort you, just know that there are people that care. Lynn

Granny313

03-30-2009, 11:22 PM

I want to thank each and every one of you for your prayers and concern. This has been a very difficult time. I have been with her each day for about 6-8 hours. With my back problems, it is hard for me to help lift her, etc. but for right now I am hanging in. She ( Gail) has gotten soooo much worse in the last couple of days. Has not had any food or even a sip of liquid for 2 days now. She is losing so much weight and yesterday she has begun not knowing us most of the time. It sounds as if she is talking an alien language when she is trying to tell you something and she lays there with one eye open and one eye closed and groans, jerks and mumbles constantly. She will grab my hand or arm sometimes and squeeze it so tightly and won't let go. She has not slept for 2 days either. Her husband had errands to run today and he went by the funeral home to start making some type of arrangements. He really could not handle it so he did the financial part and I have to go in the morning and do all the arrangements - everything -. This will be hard. It is very hard to see someone go through this. I just pray that she will not suffer long. She hurts so bad when you touch her. She called me "Mama" all day today. The hospice nurse came in today and she told me that this could still go on for a couple of weeks or more. Even tho she is skeleton thin, the nurse says that she will get thinner in her arms, legs and thighs because this is where her body is drawing reserved nourishment. Her stomach is still huge from the liver.

Thank you to each of you for letting me vent. I try so hard not to show emotions in front of her or her family. It catches up with you sometime and you all mean so much to me. Even though I have never personally met you, I do feel like you are family. I love each and every one of you. God Bless You!:flowers:

Thread artist

03-31-2009, 01:07 AM

Venting is good, and I'm positive that everyone here will support letting you vent as much as you need to. It is sooooooooooooo hard to watch a loved one waste away like this. One minute you wish that it would happen quickly and the next minute you can't bear the thought of them leaving you. As I watched my daughter slip away each day, I wondered how I was going to live without her. She, herself gave me the answer..."Mama when I see you the next time, I won't be sick anymore!"
Debbie...be strong in your faith. My heart aches for you and your family.

Jennifer

03-31-2009, 03:57 AM

I know this is a very hard time for you and your family. Please be strong for your family knowing that you can come here and vent and cry (we will cry with you).

Your are in my thought and prayers
Jennifer

Granny313

03-31-2009, 07:16 PM

Today has really been a hard day. Gail was moaning and would yell out at times. She was trying to get out of the bed. She wanted so badly to raise herself up by the rails and she wanted to stand up or get up. It took all my energy to coax her into letting go of the rails and laying back down. She would cry and then give me such mean looks with those big ole' eyes. Even tho I cannot understand what she is trying to say - she doesn't have to say a thing - she can say anything with her eyes. Whe didn't sleep at all last night or today. She gets very frustrated not being able to pull herself up.

So tonight I am tired and crying. Maybe tomorrow will be a better day.

StitchinGrandma

04-01-2009, 05:45 AM

Oh Debbie ~ I wish I had been up last night when you posted. I'm so sorry that you're dealing with this but, I know all you are doing is very much appreciated by the family. And even though your friend can't verbalize it, I'm sure she knows you are there and is trying in her only way she can right now to tell you just how much she loves you and is glad you are there. BIG HUGS HON!

No matter how hard this is for you right now just remember that when this time has past all of these memories you are dealing with right now will be pushed back and all the wonderful memories of you and her will be what you will remember.

Granny313

04-01-2009, 05:49 PM

ElaineR

04-01-2009, 06:00 PM

Debbie, I am so sorry to hear about all the pain you and your family have been going through. My prayers are with you and your beloved sister.
Elaine

debmac

04-02-2009, 05:08 AM

Debbie,

I hope that your sister has a better day today. I cannot imagine the heart ache that you go through every day. Whenever things seem to be more than you can handle, think of a good memory that you have of your sister. Just remember that we are all here for you during this very hard time for you. I pray for you and your whole family everyday.

Debbie

fun2sew

04-02-2009, 05:20 AM

Debbie,
You are still in our prayers girl, I hope you and your Sister have a good day today. Yes You can come here and vent, ask for prayers or just tell us whats on your mind anytime girl.. I just love all these embroidables sisters here. I hope you can feel that! ( I know you can)
Hugs

Dawn

StitchinGrandma

04-02-2009, 05:29 AM

Vicki - Thank-you for the encouragement. It is just hard because she is my "big sister" and has always been the one taking care of me. Even when we were little and someone picked on me in the neighborhood or at school, my mama said that she would always come to my rescue and want to fight someone because I was her little sister and she thought that I was fragile. She is seven years older than I am and she has always been the rough and tough one I was the baby of the family. She was worried about me in the beginning of this because she said that I don't handle things like this very well and she knows that both our parents are dead and I have no other siblings soooo there is a definite bond there between us. It just tears me to pieces seeing her suffer like this. But God will comfort her and I will also be there with her every day until the end.

Thanks everyone!

I'm sorry Debbie for saying 'friend' instead of sister. My head was obviously somewhere else. :( I can sympathize with you very much at all your emotions and fears. I wish I could take the pain away from you right now. It's just so very hard for anyone to watch. I wonder if it would help her to hear from you that she doesn't need to worry about you right now if she was worried about that in the beginning. It could help her to be at peace with all of this.

Many times people have said that those in this position as she is in can hold on for a long time and I saw that it's entirely possible with my own Mother. She was so sick with her cancer and all you are saying about your Sister sound exactly the same yet my Mom refused to 'leave' until she could see her first and only grandchild and hold him. She held out much longer than the docs all said she would until I had my first child. We had him baptized in thier living room while she laid on the couch right next to him and then it wasn't even a week later before she stopped fighting and lost her battle with cancer.

Please Debbie, remember to take care of yourself right now too. I know it's hard to worry about yourself when you are dealing with all the emotions you are about your Sister too right now but, you need to try so you don't get sick. BIG BIG HUGS Debbie!

susank

04-02-2009, 10:22 AM

Debbie,

I was heartsick to read all this today. My thoughts and prayers are with all of you.

My brother died 20 years ago at 29 years of age and I still remember the experience as if it were yesterday. What I told myself when my family went through it is that no matter how hard it is you can get through it and someday in the future you will realize that just being there is the kindest thing you could have done for your sister. If any part of her knows you are there then it is all worth it. You are an angel.

Susan

StitchinGrandma

04-02-2009, 10:37 AM

You're so right Susan. It's very hard to sit there like that daily but if you weren't there it's something one would regret later.

I think the hardest part for me was that all my friends scattered as I was going through that because they just had no words and didn't know what to say. Because of that, they stayed away when I needed their presence just to be there even if they said nothing. I am SO hoping Debbie is not having that same thing happen because it's makes things like this so much harder. At least we are all here. We can't give Debbie that hug she needs, but she can have a place to come vent and "talk" to us which is good.

susank

04-02-2009, 05:55 PM

Granny313

04-02-2009, 08:01 PM

You are right about friends Vicki - I know a lot of people run from the hard issues no matter how much they care. I hope the people here can provide some comfort. It's funny how close people can become without ever knowing a face. In a world with so much pain it's kind of nice.

Reading all of these notes I hope Debbie sees all the friendly faces she will never see.

You and Vicki have NO idea how much my Embroidables friends mean to me. Each time that I read a post to me, I imagine what the person looks like and I get a mental picture in my head, so when I do read them I always see the same picture of that person in my head. And you are right, alot of my "friends" kind of shy away during this time. For her and for me. I get kind of tired hearing the phrase - "I just don't want to see her like this". WELL NEITHER DO I, but I love her.......

She didn't recognize anyone today - she has lost the use of her legs completely and has lost the coordination in her arms and hands. She looks so confused when she looks at you. She was alot more yellow today but she also looked kind of grayish.

Girls - you just don't know what good therapy this board has been for me. I can feel you all thinking and praying for me and it does feel good. When I get home at night, I get a little something to eat and come straight to the computer to let you lift me up a bit. I had to go through pictures today and compile about 40 of them of her to take to the funeral home tomorrow so that they can do a video of her. THAT WAS HARD ~ especially seeing pictures of us growing up. But they are truly wonderful memories. I just wonder where all the time went?

Love you girls and thanks again.

Debbie

Granny313

04-02-2009, 08:02 PM

I'm sorry Debbie for saying 'friend' instead of sister. My head was obviously somewhere else. :( I can sympathize with you very much at all your emotions and fears. I wish I could take the pain away from you right now. It's just so very hard for anyone to watch. I wonder if it would help her to hear from you that she doesn't need to worry about you right now if she was worried about that in the beginning. It could help her to be at peace with all of this.

Many times people have said that those in this position as she is in can hold on for a long time and I saw that it's entirely possible with my own Mother. She was so sick with her cancer and all you are saying about your Sister sound exactly the same yet my Mom refused to 'leave' until she could see her first and only grandchild and hold him. She held out much longer than the docs all said she would until I had my first child. We had him baptized in thier living room while she laid on the couch right next to him and then it wasn't even a week later before she stopped fighting and lost her battle with cancer.

Please Debbie, remember to take care of yourself right now too. I know it's hard to worry about yourself when you are dealing with all the emotions you are about your Sister too right now but, you need to try so you don't get sick. BIG BIG HUGS Debbie!

Vicki - that wasn't a mistake - My sister - My Friend!!!!!!!!

StitchinGrandma

04-03-2009, 06:27 PM

How are you doing tonight Deb?

Jennifer

04-03-2009, 07:35 PM

Debbie
I was just thinking about you, and wanted to see how you were doing? You are in my thoughts
Jen

Granny313

04-03-2009, 07:55 PM

How are you doing tonight Deb?

It has been an extremely long day! I went and stayed at Gail's this morning and her husband told me that his son and family are coming tomorrow from Florida. So, I came home after lunch and baked a ham and prepared about 5 vegetables and dessert and took back up to her house so that they will have something to eat over the weekend. Believe it or not, it is now 10:50 p.m. and I have just got out of the kitchen from cleaning up all the mess. I still have clothes to wash and dry and straightening up the house (incase something does happen). I am really tired today. She was a tiny bit more lucid today. She is completely miserable though - she can't move her legs and she has very little coordination in her arms and hands. She was wanting to sit up and get up and would get so aggravated when she would try and when she would say something and we could not understand what she was saying. She was a bit more yellow today and had a grayish color too. The only thing that I understood her to say was late this afternoon, she said an "ugly" word and then mumbled that she wanted to die. That was hard!

Thanks everyone for asking and for your concern and mostly for the prayers - You will never know how much it means to me!

Debbie

Granny313

04-03-2009, 07:56 PM

Debbie
I was just thinking about you, and wanted to see how you were doing? You are in my thoughts
Jen

thank you so much - A big hug is sent your way!

NJMo

04-03-2009, 08:38 PM

Gosh - sure wish there was something I could do to make this easier for you.

Nancy

StitchinGrandma

04-04-2009, 03:03 AM

Wow Deb, from that post it sounded like you were on the run all day long. PLEASE if you can take some downtime for you too and get some rest so you don't collapse from exhaustion. I know how hard it is wanting to be there every single day. I've been there and remember. If she was able to talk really well right now it would probably be to tell you to get rest.

That is so hard when you start hearing them say they want to die. :(

Granny313

04-04-2009, 05:25 AM

Just a short note to let you all know that my sister, Gail passed away this morning at 3:50 A.M. I want you all to know that I am so thankful for all the prayers and hugs sent my way. You are truly a WONDERFUL group.
Thank you for being my friends.

Love,
Debbie

StitchinGrandma

04-04-2009, 05:29 AM

OH I am so sorry Debbie. Be strong and remember all the wonderful happy times you both shared. BIG HUGS!

craftmama

04-04-2009, 05:56 AM

Debbie,
I'm sorry to hear of your sisters passing. Our sympathy and prayers are with you and your family.
Diana

Pedal Pusher

04-04-2009, 06:01 AM

Debbie....sorry she is gone but thankful she doesn't have to suffer any more. Remember the good times with her and not the bad.

Donna

debmac

04-04-2009, 10:10 AM

Debbie,

I am so sorry for you and your family. I know how hard it is to loose someone that you love. My prayers are still with you and your family. God bless.

Debbie

susank

04-04-2009, 05:15 PM

Debbie - so sorry to hear this news but I know it is better for everyone - especially your sister. You have to know you did everything you could. Now its time for you to heal. Get through the next few days with funerals and all the hard stuff but then take a breath. I know you can't see it now - but spring will come and you will have happy memories. God be with you.

NJMo

04-05-2009, 08:56 AM

Debbie, I, too, am so sorry to hear of Gail's passing. What a tough time for her, you, her family, and everyone who knew and loved her. Thoughts and prayers remain with you.

Nancy

Jennifer

04-08-2009, 05:31 AM

Debbie I just got back on today to check on you. I am sorry to hear of her passing, but she is no longer in pain. You and your family are in my thoughts during the hard time.
Jennifer

StitchinGrandma

04-08-2009, 06:24 AM

How are you doing Debbie?

sewingfor3

04-08-2009, 06:39 AM

Oh Debbie,

I've been reading your posts and wished we all were with you to help cook or whatever so you could take a break and just reflect on the good times with your sister.

Most Hospices have a good breavement program. I hope you and your family are able to benefit from that.

We will be thinking and praying for you.

kidzbizz

04-08-2009, 06:43 AM

Debbie, was thinking of you and your family yesterday and then came on today and read about the passing of your sister. I am so sorry, wish there was more we could do for you at this time. Prayers and thoughts for you and your family.

Judie

debmac

04-08-2009, 02:11 PM

Debbie,

I was just checking on you. I wanted to let you know that I will continue to keep you in my prayers. I know that this is a very difficult time. I am sure that you feel like you are in a daze. Just remember all of the good times that you had not only with your sister, but with your whole family. If you need anything let me know.

Debbie

Jami Johnson

04-09-2009, 12:39 AM

I was wondering how you are doing, too, Debbie. You've been on my mind. Hopefully you've had a chance to get some rest for yourself and reflect on the good times. Keep us posted when you have a chance.

Granny313

04-09-2009, 09:13 PM

:( Thank you all so much for checking on me. This has really been a hard week. I feel like I am a walking zombie. Have worked on thank-you notes for 2 days and have not been able to sleep. I have a lot of frustration built up (bro-in-law) and I guess I just need some time. I knew that he was strange but never realized just how much. He has given away just about everything that she had before they even buried her - (clothes and personal) He is retired military and has a big old chip on his shoulder. He is knocking on the door of an atheist. I did the best that I could do and made the choices for her services that I thought that she would like. Of course he had something to say about everything. People met here at my house because a couple of people took food to his house and he informed them that he did not need it - to take it home. My mother and Gail would cringe!!!!!

So needless to say it has been soooo hard for me, especially to hold my tongue. I just get teary eyed and go on and do what I think is best. It will take me awhile to get back to normal (whatever that may be). Have been really depressed. When my only aunt and cousin left after the funeral, I just fell apart because I feel like it's just me. DH has been wonderful. I cry and he hugs.

Thank you everyone - you are wonderful friends. I'll be back soon.

Love,
Debbie;)

StitchinGrandma

04-09-2009, 09:18 PM

Wow Debbie! That's just really hard for everyone who has dealt with him I'm sure. I wonder if he's decided this is his way of dealing with the loss and he's angry over losing her? That's very strange and quite the opposite of the way anyone normally acts, especially in giving all her stuff away.

Big hugs! You'll get past this but it's going to take a lot of time and the way he's acting isn't going to make that any easier. I'm sorry you have to deal with that on top of all the other emotions.

Granny313

04-10-2009, 07:57 PM

It's just that he is money hungry and always has been!! It would take all day to tell you all of the inconsiderate things that he said in front of her. But ~ that's o.k. because remember I said before that she could talk with her eyes? She didn't have to say a word, but the eyes told me EVERYTHING!!

StitchinGrandma

04-13-2009, 06:50 AM

Those types are SO hard to be around too. I hope you won't have to deal with him much now. I hope you are doing a little better now. I know it will take awhile to allow the good memories to take over the terrible loss you feel but, it will in time. Hugs!

Granny313

04-13-2009, 09:39 AM

:love: Thank you everyone for all the prayers and concern while going through the illness and death of my sister. It was a very difficult time and still is although knowing that I had friends like you made it easier. That is something that I am very blessed with is friends. It is still very hard to believe that it is true - I guess it happened so fast that I didn't have time to digest everything before everything was over. I am hoping to get busy now on things that I have not been able to do. My sewing basket is running over and I think the best medicine may be to start my embroidery machine!!!!

Love and Hugs to each of you.

Debbie