Manners??!!

[susank]

This may be more of a question for Dear Abby but I thought all the ladies here would have an opinion.

Something has been bothering me the last few days. A friend of mine celebrated a birthday on Thursday. I knew it was her birthday and wanted to do something but I had just had dinner with her on the Sunday before. I decided to send her a beautiful arrangement of orchids. It is now Sunday evening - 4 days later - and I have not heard anything from her. I facebooked her daughter on Friday evening to make sure they had arrived and they had.

My question is --- am I crazy, but should she not acknowledge receipt of flowers like this? I didn't send them expecting anything but I am a little surprised that there has been no acknowledgement let alone a thank you.

Am I being too sensitive? I have to admit my feeling are a little hurt.

[StitchinGrandma]

You have every right to be questioning. YES, she should have, at the very least considering these days with so many things being computerized to send a text message to you. I am NOT condoning the use of texts to replace an actual phone call to say thank you in ANY way, but if the person is busy a quick text could suffice until a later time when they could make that call.

I guess it is still entirely possible though Susan that she wrote a thank you card right away and mailed it and that could arrive today too. Some people do send thank you cards and don't think a personal phone call is necessary if they've sent a card. Maybe she's one of them?

[susank]

Hmmm. I had not thought of that although she has never done this before. We'll see I guess.

[StitchinGrandma]

I'd still make a phone call myself even if sending a card. Hopefully you'll get something in the mail though at least.

[Jami Johnson]

I agree...I think a simple phone call or even text would have been appreciated. Especially if you are as good friends as it seems. I used to be a firm believer in sending handwritten thank you's for anything and everything (thank you, mom), but have to admit over the last few years as my life has become busier and busier, I have cheated and used texts and emails instead. Shhh...don't tell my mom. But, I honestly don't mind when people thank me in that way, so I figure something is better than nothing.

If you need a new friend to send flowers to, I'll give you my address. And, I promise to say thank you in a timely manner. ;) Haha!

[susank]

Thanks for the laugh Jami - you seem like the sort of person who would definitely say thank you!

You know I always used to say thank you with a note but I also find that all I have time for now is an e-mail. My mother and grandmother were also big on the personal touch. For my 16th birthday my grandmother gave me monogrammed note cards so I could always write my thank you notes. Maybe that's why I monogram everything now!!!!

[StitchinGrandma]

Too funny Susan and Jami too. Hey, I have an address that loves getting flowers too. The bad thing is years ago I told hubby not to buy me flowers for those big things like Valentine's day because I refuse to expect he will spend triple or more on flowers for those days. Of course, I think I probably should have stated it a little differently because while that man is amazing and totally spoils me in every possible way, I never get flowers now. LOL oops. Ok, just 'cause I need to be sure and tell the WHOLE truth here considering he does wander around here once in awhile, he does buy me flowers to surprise me once in awhile just not on those holidays because he knows it upsets me they do such huge price increases.

Don't you think every woman should tell her man not to buy them flowers on Valentine's Day so the florists get the hint that we will not pay triple the price on that day? I mean geez, the prices a normal just 2-3 days before and again the following day back to their normal prices! I do love getting flowers but not at that cost.

So yea, anyway........feel free to send me some Susan. :D

And yes, I was big on teaching my own children to write or at the very least call to say thank you for things someone has gone out of their way to choose a gift for them no matter what it was. One of them has grown and totally refuses to acknowledge ANY manners I taught him like that. I guess it's his way of rebelling but I would think at the age of 29 he can start acting like an adult now and stop the teenage rebellion stage. The other two are pretty good at calling at least and one of them will take the time to send an email. I guess all was not lost in teaching them given at least two of them know how to use their manners. Of course, they have also been told if they don't thank Grandma then *I* have to hear about it. :D And then THEY hear about it because they are adults now and I should not have to listen to questions from Grandma as to whether they got something that was sent to another address. HOW do I know right? LOL
Geez, I need to stop posting around here. It seems all I'm doing is whining lately. Forget the flowers Susan. Please send me some happy pills!!!!!!

[katiedoodles]

Susan,

I agree completely with everyone! It is downright rude not to acknowledge your gift! I am one who tries to acknowledge a gift immediately (otherwise I may forget), and since we all do have email, there are no excuses. I am really wondering about her daughter too; I know I would have told my mom that her friend had texted me wondering if the flowers were received :confused:

Vicki...I have told my husband the exact same thing, no flowers during holidays! He had sent me flowers on a Valentine's day when we were still dating, the florist had to exchange the flowers 5 times before I just stopped calling them. Really, what flowers can't last more than two days? They finally gave him a full refund (I think they were happy I stopped calling!)

[susank]

So - a final note to the story. This morning my husband received a blackberry message containing a thank you. So there is another way to say thank you!

[Jami Johnson]

So - a final note to the story. This morning my husband received a blackberry message containing a thank you. So there is another way to say thank you!

You've got to be kidding?!?!? Do you all share the same blackberry? If not, does she know that's his and not yours? Maybe she thinks he sent her the flowers??? Well, that would put a whole other spin on this story....whoa!! Haha!

[Jami Johnson]

... I never get flowers now. LOL oops. Ok, just 'cause I need to be sure and tell the WHOLE truth here considering he does wander around here once in awhile, he does buy me flowers to surprise me once in awhile just not on those holidays because he knows it upsets me they do such huge price increases...


{Clearing my throat} He may not send you bouquets of flowers, but I have seen beautiful fruit bouquets on more than one occasion, Vicki dear. ;)

[StitchinGrandma]

So - a final note to the story. This morning my husband received a blackberry message containing a thank you. So there is another way to say thank you!
OH geez. And did this magically appear today or did you mention this to him and then he said "Oh yea, I got a thank you a few days ago and forgot to tell you about it"?

{Clearing my throat} He may not send you bouquets of flowers, but I have seen beautiful fruit bouquets on more than one occasion, Vicki dear. ;)

Yea I know Jami. I feel bad too because those fruit things cost WAY more than flowers and are gone faster than the flowers. Of course, I eat those but I can't eat the entire bouquet and if you don't eat those the day they come the next day coming out of the fridge the chocolate is all sweaty and not the best. And I really do not like canteloupe at all and just like any fruit salad somewhere they tend to put double of that since it's cheaper than the good strawberries and pineapple. I should just rescind my no roses rule and let him do what he wants to. I feel bad when I tell him what to do when it's something I should just shut up and let him do whatever he want to buy me. Of course, I DID say no roses so that leaves all others open and I keep reminding him how the Iris is my favorite flower and other purple flowers are more than welcome too. :D :laugh:

[susank]

You've got to be kidding?!?!? Do you all share the same blackberry? If not, does she know that's his and not yours? Maybe she thinks he sent her the flowers??? Well, that would put a whole other spin on this story....whoa!! Haha!

Hmmmm - I had not thought of it this way. I signed the card from the whole family but maybe she thought it was his idea. She is the biggest flirt I have ever met --- who knows? Although I can only picture the face my husband would make if I suggested this. He is not her biggest fan. It's a little funny though.

And no - we all have our own blackberries - so no mistake!