HELP! With my 20 mth old!

[Sew So Happy]

Okay, she is 20 mths old and very much in the terrible twos half of the time! She has this thing lately where she throws everything. Between making messes and pelting her brothers with matchbox cars in the head, I am at wits end! She does it and seems to have a slight smile on her face. I have had her picking it up, popped her on the bottom and the "NO" word said tons of times.This is my third child and I just don't remember this degree of terrible twos with the other two kids. I know it just has to be a stage, but how long could it possibly last?????!!!??
I am thinking, now just go with me on this one, it will last while daddy is gone to Iraq and when he gets home she will be a perfect angel!
Any tips on how to diffuse the situation while it is happening?:(

[just_teachin]

I'd start by making sure she has to pick up and put away (with your aid, of course) anything she threw. And each time, I'd say "these toys are *not* for throwing"... and then find some time where you can retreat to the basement (or if you happen to live where it's warm, go outside) and give her a chance to throw a ball around.

Good luck! It's never easy, is it?

[ShirleyC]

My grandson went through the "terrible twos" around 18-20 months. He would bang his head on the floor or the door. It really worried me, but he grew out of it. He started to daycare, and when there he would have to do time out, so my daughter started that at home, and it works pretty good with him. She just keeps repeating to him that when he calms down he can come back in the living room. She puts him in his room.
Now he does get his behind popped for some things. She uses a wooden spoon. The other day they were in the grocery store and passed some wooden spoons. He hollered, "Look Mommy! Spanking spoons." She nearly died.:embarassed:

[StitchinGrandma]

I had hoped when you mentioned this before that it was just because Daddy had left that day. :confused: It still could be some "attitude" stemming from that too but yea, still NOT good and SOOOOOOO not fun for anyone around.

I can tell you that this program really works well if you stick to it without fail. I used this on all three of my kids years ago and it was just as the title suggests ~ magic! You should be able to find one at the library and I know some schools started putting them into their libraries too for youngers girls to read. If you can find he is in your area doing a seminar, I highly recommend going but last I knew, he travelled pretty closely to the Chicago area for the most part which is how I was lucky to see him twice.

http://www.parentmagic.com/

There are a few different things he has but I suggest the 1,2,3 Magic program since I KNOW that works really well.

[cruisin]

I have an 8 yr and a 3yr. My 8 yr was much more of a challenge than my 3yr. I think the kids will just do different things. Possibly she is acting out because daddy is gone. Possibly she is trying for more attention. I would guess that it will pass, but the match box cars may need a special room to be played with....to easily keep them from becoming projectile.

Super moderator....has a good suggestion. I have one of the 123 books and would be happy to send it to you if you are interested. I can not attest to its validity or to its changing my life...because I have not actually read it. My rough patch expired before I opened the book. The rough patches come and go.

Maybe you need a little time away from the kids and can get some additional support. Kids always act differently (I think) when they are around others or in different circumstances.

Mary

[StitchinGrandma]

I can totally attest to that working. I not only used it on my three growing up, but also all my daycare kids the five years I had a licensed daycare in my home.

[Cynelle]

1-2-3 worked for me too. To help with your daughter here's some ideas...

She wants to throw things so.... turn it into a game. Let her throw the dirty clothes into the laundry basket, paper trash into the trash can, if you recycle same thing.

It also sounds like she wants attention - not only from you but her brothers too. She probably wants to play with them although she is too young to understand that if she hits her brothers with cars they won't want to play with her. One activity may be to have everyone get together outside with paints and make something for their dad. Let her use her hands and let everyone get messy.

It's a phase and hopefully it will pass soon for you. I always hated deployments - 2 weeks before he left and 2 weeks after he left we were all out of sorts.

[NJMo]

I'm sure you could market the solution to Terrible Two's and makes lots of money. Hopefully, the phase has started to subside, if it has not already passed.

[Sew 'N Sane]

By the way, in case you didn't know...they don't call it the terrible 2's because it happens about the time they turn 2. They call it that because it LASTS 2 YEARS. :p

HEHEHEHE

:marchmellow:

[Sew So Happy]

By the way, in case you didn't know...they don't call it the terrible 2's because it happens about the time they turn 2. They call it that because it LASTS 2 YEARS. :p

HEHEHEHE

:marchmellow:

I did not know that!!! Learn something new everyday. That is so true! Actually, things seem to be getting better for now. She has stopped the throwing so much and her communication is coming along really good.

[StitchinGrandma]

I'm glad to hear she's getting better at the throwing. It's so frustrating when they start new little behaviors like that to know what to do to stop it. How are you doing?

[Sew So Happy]

We are doing fine. I set getting to the end of January as my first goal and we are in the home stretch. Zach, my almost 6 yr old(Feb 13th) is having a bowling b'day party on the 23rd of Feb. Baseball sign ups are this weekend and practices will probably start the 1st part of March.
Keith calls me regular now that he is in Afghanistan. He is waiting onhis replacement to come, which should be in the next couple of weeks. When he comes, he'll head back to Iraq to finish until May. He has already informed he has to go back to Afghanistan in Sept. That trip will last until Jan 16th of next year.
You know, that means I will really have to be on the ball when it comes to getting Christmas orders and my own gifts done. I am going to start making a list and getting stuff done for gifts before he gets home in May. When he gets home, he will probably be off for a month.
This is when I wish all of you lived around the corner from me and we could all just visit and throw ideas around. Maybe even embroider together! Doesn't that sound like a Norman Rockwell moment?:) :)

[StitchinGrandma]

We are doing fine. I set getting to the end of January as my first goal and we are in the home stretch. Zach, my almost 6 yr old(Feb 13th) is having a bowling b'day party on the 23rd of Feb. Baseball sign ups are this weekend and practices will probably start the 1st part of March.
Keith calls me regular now that he is in Afghanistan. He is waiting onhis replacement to come, which should be in the next couple of weeks. When he comes, he'll head back to Iraq to finish until May. He has already informed he has to go back to Afghanistan in Sept. That trip will last until Jan 16th of next year.
You know, that means I will really have to be on the ball when it comes to getting Christmas orders and my own gifts done. I am going to start making a list and getting stuff done for gifts before he gets home in May. When he gets home, he will probably be off for a month.
This is when I wish all of you lived around the corner from me and we could all just visit and throw ideas around. Maybe even embroider together! Doesn't that sound like a Norman Rockwell moment?:) :)
I'm happy that you are doing better. You sounded so stressed when he first left with the little one and the throwing business. It's hard to deal with the kids when only one parent is around and then you had the added stress of hubby being where he is that I don't know if I could ever handle.

That sucks you know already that he's got to go back and he's not even home yet. :( Are you saying you are going to try and have Christmas this year before he heads back in September?

If we were closer you'd be more than welcome to come spend time with this old woman that can't get around too well but I can make an awesome cup of coffee and my brownies are "famous" in their own right. :p

[Sew So Happy]

No, I won't celebrate Christmas before he leaves, but I want to get all the Christmas presents for family done before he gets back in May. When he gets back it will be soooo busy with vacationing and kids. Football camp starts the end of July and practice starts the 1st of Aug.
I would love to come over for the brownies. I don't do coffee, but I'll take some milk!
I do get stressed at times, but they soon pass. It was just a mess tonight, trying to make dinner and Abby fussed the whole time, because she was hungry. I gave her dinner and she pushed it away. I calmly took her plate away and left her milk and a banana on her tray. I walked out in the garage and sat in my minivan and cried for a couple of minutes. Came back in and made her some scrambled eggs. She ate them right up! I think Mamaw called them her stomach teeth. Those are coming in right now. Luckily, she goes to bed so early and sleeps really well for me.
Thanks for letting me babble. it always feels good afterwards!:)

[StitchinGrandma]

I figured the dates out when I saw your other thread. ;) Hey, I got milk. LOL

I totally understand the stress you feel doing it all. I was a divorced Mom of three, all under the age of three yrs old with two being my twins. NOT easy and when I was married he was too busy drinking.

Sucks you were that upset tonight. :( I can truly say teething sucks. No other words for that. Ramble and babble anytime. Hugs

[NJMo]

If it makes you feel better, just yesterday I told my 22 year old I wanted to spank him. He was being hateful and belligerent and using unacceptable language. So, actually, I think the terrible two's means any age that has a two in it and the two years before that year and the two years afterwards.

[StitchinGrandma]

I keep wondering how your daughter is doing with your husband being gone again this time. I know you are having some concerns about your son, but is she doing ok?

[Sew So Happy]

I keep wondering how your daughter is doing with your husband being gone again this time. I know you are having some concerns about your son, but is she doing ok?

She is doing really well. She asks about Daddy sometimes and when she talks to him on the phone, she tells him she wants to go to his house. She is a handful of fun and can sometimes be a handful of craziness! It comes and goes...

[StitchinGrandma]

Well, at least the kids are taking turns or you'd really be going nuts this time around. I remember she was really a handful for you the last time.